Thanks for connecting, Jeff. I noticed you’re in the coaching/consulting space and was curious , what’s your main focus right now in the business?

A young man (based on his profile picture) reached out to me to connect on LinkedIn, as many people do on a daily basis.

“Hi Jeff, came across your profile and noticed the work you’re doing at The Sales Confidence Lab. Always enjoy connecting with coaches and consultants who are building something meaningful. Mind if we connect?

Not bad. At least he referenced one of my programs. Unfortunately, I’ve seen this same message a million times and had a pretty good idea of what was coming. He didn’t disappoint:

“Thanks for connecting, Jeff. I noticed you’re in the coaching/consulting space and was curious , what’s your main focus right now in the business?”

Let’s set aside the dangling comma for a second. His curiosity about the main focus of my business is a weird question from someone I have zero relationship with. He may as well have asked, “What color underwear are you wearing?” or “What are you having for dinner tomorrow night?”

Why would I share information about my business with someone I don’t know? Let’s continue with my response:

“Why do you ask, Mohammad?”

Mohammad: “Jeff , Curious if you have the capacity to manage an increase in coaching clients? Wondering if we could be a good fit for a partnership?”

We’ll forget about the second dangling comma and the unnecessary capital C. Now I know the purpose of the connection. He’s want to potentially be partners!! At least he said he does. I’m not looking for partners, but one of my favorite phrases is, “Ya never know.”

Me: “AH!! You want to sell me your services. Understood. I want to sell you mine too…need any sales coaching or training today? I can sell you a boatload.”

Mohammad: “Fair enough, Jeff. I walked right into that one. To be honest, I reach out because I enjoy connecting with people who are building interesting businesses. Sometimes there’s a fit to collaborate, sometimes there isn’t and that’s perfectly okay. As for your question, I think I’ll survive without the boatload… unless you think I’m missing something. 😄Either way, I’m happy to stay connected and learn from what you’re building.”

Me: “To be honest you reached out because you wanted to sell me your services. If you’re going to be honest, be honest. Best of luck to you.”

I do think Mohammad is missing something. Honesty.

First, NEVER start your sentence with, “To be honest,” or, “Let me tell you the truth.” When you do that, you imply that everything you said without that modifier WASN’T honest.

Second – BE FREAKING HONEST. While we can debate what the best cold outreach message to use on LinkedIn is, I would have preferred,

“Hi Jeff…of course I have no idea whether you’re looking for more clients right now or not (how could I…we don’t know each other yet) but I’ve been helping other coaches like you get in front of highly qualified prospects. If that’s of interest would you be open to finding a convenient time to have a brief, no obligation conversation regarding how I may be able to help?”

In the sales process, establishing rapport up front is crucial. Mohammad felt that asking me about the focus of my business would be a rapport builder, but it wasn’t. If he actually wanted to start doing that before attempting to sell me I would have gone with:

“Thanks for accepting my connection request. For more than 20 years LinkedIn has been an amazing way to meet new people to network with. If you’re open to it, I’d welcome the chance to get on a call and learn about each other’s business to see if we can possibly help each other with referrals.”

LinkedIn WAS developed for exactly that reason. It’s turned into a selling tool, a recruiting tool, a research tool, and more. I LOVE LinkedIn and 30% of my business comes to me from the platform. But NOT because I reach out to people trying to sell them my services. PEOPLE REACH OUT TO ME because they’ve been following my posts. 98% of my posts are giving advice to the type of people I would want to work with. (the other 2% IS me making an offer but it’s clearly me saying I want to sell you something) Giving the same advice I charge people and companies for. By consistently serving others some of my followers reach out with messages like, “Hi Jeff…been following you for two years now. Love your stuff. Can we find a time to discuss your Sales Confidence Lab (or coaching, or training, or whatever they’re interested in)?”

IF Mohammad had asked for a meeting to network with me, there’s a decent chance I would have sent him my Calendly link so he could arrange a time for us to get to know each other. IF Mohammad actually showed up and showed an interest in hearing about me, my programs, who my target customers are, and offered to make referrals when he could, we might have begun a relationship based on integrity. And IF Mohammad nurtured that relationship over time, eventually I would be fine with, “Hey Jeff…I’m glad we connected and have gotten to know each other. It occurred to me that my helping coaches get appointments with qualified prospects might possibly be of value to you. No pressure, but if you’re ever interested I’d be happy to discuss what I do and how I do it. Want to meet?”

STOP THE BS. If you can’t be honest when selling (or prospecting) find another career.

Sales is a great career. Every day you get to wake up, look yourself in the mirror, and give yourself a raise. Then, all you have to do is go out and earn it.

But if you can’t earn it with integrity, go work at McDonald’s. In the drive-thru they give you a cool headset and you can ask people, “Would you like fries with that?” That’s selling too.